Apr 12, 2012


Cycle Parallel is the review of the most transformative thoughts, experiences and feelings, several years of living summed up in the personal three-dimensional memorabilia.
An intimately important reminder of the universal truthfulness of the insight  that a man is his own lightBuddha's last words addressed to his disciples from his deathbed, but also a reminder of the mutual permeation of all beings and of all that exists in the universe.
As we inhale and exhale the same molecules of air for millennia — thus also we share the experiences of all those who were and of all those who will be in an endless recycling.

Couple, Room with the view, and  Parallel One point to the number two, the number of pair and duality. The principle of polarity is the principle of the universe, but only at first glance — what appear to be opposites are actually two extremities of the same thing.

Couple — the woman and her shadow are the pair of opposites within the same being — she walks stepping on her own shadow — light and shadow are two poles of the same world.

Of the two Moons in the Room with the view, the one in the sky and the one in the reflection, both are perhaps illusions, while reality conceals a third Moon.
Or the fourth or fifth, or tenth, or thousandth; the observer externally observes the observer from the inside, and as we observe him, we are being observed by the observer who is observed by the observer, and so every following observer sees more and thus what is a view towards inside for the preceding observer, is a view from the outside for the succeeding one. The source is always further than the seen, for a step, two, three, ten, a thousand.
The Room with the view has stars and The Moon constellations drawn on its roof. This Moon is the circular opening, through which the view into the interior of the room is enabled. The small figure lies on the floor facing the ceiling.
The light of the stars, and the depth of the sky, is a state of mind — freedom is a state of mind even when a physical space is a prison without doors-exits, like in this Room with the view, and when The Moon is just an aperture in the ceiling through which light, and perhaps someone's gaze from the outside enters. The gaze from the outside, through the aperture/Moon, reveals The Moon inside.
That Moon from the inside is the light, but it is also the eye that watches. The Moon is the light from the inside because the ceiling aperture is doubled in the reflection of the prison floor that hides the mirror, transforming the prison, along with the stars — ceiling perforations, into a temple of celestial infinity.
The Moon is the eye of that one and the same observer because the observer looks at his own eye in the mirror. Maybe he will notice his own eye, and maybe not, because all of his attention would be taken away by the figure or by the space of the room, but the eye is here to see itself.
In the physical lens of that same eye is also the reflection, as well as in the reflection of that reflection.
A prison or a temple, an aperture or a Moon, a Moon or an eye, an eye or a reflection of an eye, inside or outside, an illusion or a reality, a finality or an infinity — only a viewpoint makes a difference.
A quote from the dream unfolding indoors, without a visible exit: "It doesn't matter that there are no windows nor doors, I'll drift out through the ceiling." And then the take-off, passing through the ceiling without resistance. And then the elation, thanks to easily found liberation, despite such weak prospects. The thrill lasts also after waking up. The dream — one of those worth memorizing, the one that will always be on hand if needed, as a remedy against the fear of every kind.

Parallel One — the female figure of wirely drawn contours, placed within the edges of  wirely drawn space — is drawing the same kind of female figure, only reduced in size. That reduced in size version of herself, she will place within the same kind of space which she herself is placed, only reduced in size — the smaller cuboid she crafted for the smaller figure.
Parallely — just as they are drawn, and as perhaps in parallel reality this scene multiplies infinitely — beings exist.
Matryoshkas can give birth  to one another endlessly, never to step out of their contours significantly.
Perhaps Parallel One has an esoteric role and spreads a message of breaking off the vicious circle of multiplying.
If there is a point in which "my life" moves in some other possible direction, no longer parallely, drawing an entirely new forms, maybe this is the exactly that point?
Exciting is the thought of moving out of the drawings, the exciting is a potential plurality of the directions of the movements, and even more exciting is the idea that we recreate ourselves in the way a sculpture is created, and that the same creative power is also valid for life. Or rather — it equals life.

The drawing is woven and sewn by wire lines — from the thicker ones, to as thin as thread.
The wire delineates the margins of the material cuboid space and deletes them
simultaneously with the vortex of particles — by moving through matter.
Fullness and void are just perceptual determinants.
Vortex is about that same creation that seeks self through the new forms of thinking and experiences, it is the vital energy that drives reality from an idea to its materialization. Vortex is the awareness of growing over the contours of material givens of space and time, as the awareness of the reality of higher order. Awareness of the power of consciousness. Awareness of the universal potential of consciousness as an omnipresence, of its bonds and permeation with all existing, probably also the cause of all of the existence.
Perhaps this is one of the universal principles of life itself as we know it; for example, to the evolutionary development of animal adaptation also precedes, not quite awareness or thought inherent to man, but an aspiration/need, and over time will the ultimate consequence of that need become a new body form and function.
Consciousness/world not only communicates with living beings and materializes their needs, it is their integral part, living beings themselves cause that same consciousness and contrariwise. If we continue further down the rabbit hole, non-living matter is also a product of that same consciousness, so it is only a conditionally speaking non-living, just if the consciousness is not "alive" but if it is not really alive, it would not create or recreate life.
The universe is awareness. Proactive.
Even quantum mechanics of the Twenties of the twentieth century was on the same track, with our consciousness we are  affecting the behavior of particles within a potential sea of ​​possibilities.
We co-create the world already with being aware of the world, inasmuch as the world consequently responds with consciousness to our consciousness. What then is the outer world if not that same consciousness, the same one we call our/inner consciousness?
So then the interior-exterior-duality is an illusion/mimicry/deception? Whose deception? Deception of that same consciousness. In order to express itself, to experience the richness of the forms of existence, consciousness must be materialized. In order to make the diversity of materialization convincing to the materialized forms of existence, consciousness must create an illusion of separation, deceiving itself or rather the material aspects of its own self.
Is it possible that I am the fruit of a self-fertilising consciousness? That I am that same self-fertilising consciousness as everyone else and everything else, means I created my own self as well as everything else?

Noise is all around us, when we silence it, we hear a somewhat of inner life; of intuition, of dreams, of precognition, of  imagination.
Vibration is the experience of a weightless elevation — did the consciousness  (or the soul) indeed separate from the body or was it just my momentary state of brain, I cannot know for sure, but the feeling was very vivid and striking.
Such realities and the reality of synchronicity and of precognitive dreams from which I learn about the nature of time on some other plane, that it is not linear, that it probably does not exist, wondering what the space then is, wondering what is it in that case what we call reality, wondering what then is it that we name ourselves.
With each new question, the expanded experience of the world, the collection of  own memorabilia/postcards from out of space and time, flows into something much larger and much less personal — aware, universal, infinite, one. The One with infinitely many expressions.

That Levels of existence are numerous I know — I touch some of them while gazing into myself. Is this dream my true nature?

Tatjana Bezjak


38,4 cm high 
46,5 cm width
61,5 cm depth


37,5 cm high 
45 cm width
32 cm depth


36 cm high 
31,5 cm width
21 cm depth

Thread To You

26,5 cm high
24 cm width
28,8 cm depth


110 cm high
94 cm width
92 cm depth


70 cm high
70 cm width
85 cm depth

Two Moons

70 cm high 
32 cm width
32 cm depth

    view from the inside

Sometimes I am Light

17.5  cm high 
19     cm width
18.8  cm depth

Ciklus Paralelna

suma je najtransformativnijih misli, iskustava i osjećaja, nekoliko  godina življenja sabranih u osobnu trodimenzionalnu  memorabiliju. Intimno važan podsjetnik na univerzalnu  istinitost spoznaje da je čovjek sam svoje svjetlo — Buddhinih posljednjih riječi upućenih svojim učenicima sa samrtničke postelje, ali i podsjetnik na iskustvo međusobne prožetosti svih i svega u svemiru. 
Kao što udišemo i izdišemo jedne te iste molekule zraka tisućljećima, tako i u beskonačnim recikliranjima dijelimo iskustva svih onih koji su bili i svih onih koji će biti.

Dvoje, Soba s pogledom i Paralelna, upućuju na broj dva, broj para i dualnosti. Načelo polariteta načelo je svemira, no tek na prvi pogled — ono što djeluje kao suprotnost, zapravo su dva ekstrema jedne te iste stvari.

Dvoje — žena i njena sjena, par suprotnosti su unutar istog bića — ona hoda koračajući po vlastitoj sjeni — svjetlost i tama dva su pola istog svijeta.
Od dva pogleda u Sobi s pogledom, onog izvana i onog iznutra, možda su oba iluzije, dok stvarnost krije neki treći pogled. Ili četvrti ili peti ili deseti ili tisućiti; promatrač izvana promatra promatrača iznutra, a dok ga promatramo, promatra nas promatrač kojeg promatra promatrač i tako svaki sljedeći promatrač vidi više i tako ono što je pogled prema unutra onom prethodnom promatraču, pogled je izvana onom sljedećem. Ishodište je uvijek dalje od viđenog, za korak, dva, tri, deset, tisuću.
Soba s pogledom na svom krovu ima ucrtane konstelacije zvijezda i Mjeseca. Taj je Mjesec kružni otvor kroz koji se gleda u unutrašnjost sobe. Mala figura leži na podu licem okrenuta prema stropu.  
Svjetlost zvijezda i dubina neba stanje je duha — sloboda je stanje duha čak i kada je fizički prostor zatvor bez vrata-izlaza kao u ovoj sobi i kada je Mjesec samo rupa u stropu, kroz koju ulazi svjetlost i možda nečiji pogled izvana. Pogled izvana kroz otvor/Mjesec otkriva Mjesec iznutra. Taj Mjesec iznutra je i svjetlost i oko koje gleda. Mjesec je svjetlost iznutra jer otvor je udvostručen u odrazu podnice zatvora koja krije ogledalo, pretvarajući zatvor, zajedno sa zvijezdama — rupicama u stropu, u hram beskraja nebeskog svoda. Mjesec je oko tog istog promatrača jer promatrač gleda vlastito oko u odrazu. Možda će ga uočiti, a možda i neće jer će mu svu pažnju odvući figura ili prostor sobe, no oko je tu da uoči samo sebe. U samoj fizičkoj leći tog istog oka je također odraz, kao i u odrazu tog odraza. 
Zatvor ili hram, otvor ili Mjesec, Mjesec ili oko, oko ili odraz oka, iznutra ili izvana, iluzija ili stvarnost, konačnost ili beskonačnost — tek točka gledišta čini razliku.
Citat iz sna koji se odvija u zatvorenom prostoru, bez vidljivog izlaza: “Nema veze što nema ni prozora ni vrata, odlebdjet ću kroz strop”. Zatim uzlet prema stropu, prolaz kroz strop bez otpora. Potom ushićenje zbog lakoćom pronađene slobode, unatoč tako slabim izgledima. Ushićenje traje i nakon buđenja. San — jedan od onih vrijednih pamćenja, koji će uvijek biti pri ruci u slučaju da zatreba, kao lijek/svijest protiv straha svake vrste.

Paralelna — konturno žicom iscrtana ženska figura unutar ocrtanih rubova prostora, iscrtava istu takvu figuru žene, samo umanjenih dimenzija. Tu umanjenu verziju žene, smjestiti će u isti takav prostor u kakav je i sama smještena — kvadar, samo umanjenih dimenzija, koji je za manju figuru izradila. Paralelno, baš kao što su i one iscrtane i kao što se možda u paralelnoj stvarnosti ovaj prizor beskonačno umnožava, figure egzistiraju. Matrjoške tako mogu rađati u beskonačnost jedna drugu, a da nikad značajno ne iskorače iz svojih kontura. 
Možda Paralelna ima ezoteričku ulogu i nosi poruku prekidanja začaranog kruga umnožavanja. Ako postoji točka u kojoj ono što zovem 'moj život' kreće dalje u nekom drugom mogućem smjeru, ne više paralelno, iscrtavajući sasvim nove oblike, možda je ovo upravo ta točka? Uzbudljiva je pomisao na to kretanje izvan crteža i potencijalnu množinu pravaca kretanja, a još je uzbudljivija ideja da sebe iznova stvaramo kao što se stvara skulptura i da ta ista kreativna moć vrijedi i za život, ili točnije — ona znači život.

Crtež je tkan i šivan linijama žice — od onih debljih do poput vlasi tankih.
Žica ocrtava granice materijalnog kubičnog prostora i briše ih istovremeno vrtlogom čestica — kretanjem kroz materiju. Punina i praznina samo su percepcijske odrednice.
Vrtlog je o onom istom stvaranju koje traži sebe kroz nove oblike mišljenja i doživljaja, vitalnost koja pokreće stvarnost od ideje do njene materijalizacije. Vrtlog je svijest o rastu preko kontura materijalnih zadanosti prostora i vremena, kao svijest o stvarnosti višega reda. Svijest o moći svijesti. Svijest o univerzalnom potencijalu svijesti kao  sveprisutnosti, svijest o potencijalu svih njenih veza i prožetosti sa svime postojećim, kao i uzrokom svega postojećeg. Svijest kao postojanje samo.
Možda je to jedan od univerzalnih principa samog života kakvog poznajemo; na primjer evolucijskom razvoju prilagodbi kod životinja također prethodi, ne baš svijest ili misao svojstvena čovjeku, ali određena vrsta  težnje/potrebe i s vremenom će krajnja konsekvenca te potrebe biti prilagodba — novi tjelesni oblik i funkcija. Svijest/svijet ne samo da komunicira sa živim bićima i materijalizira njihove potrebe, ona jest njihov integralni dio, živa bića i sama čine tu istu svijest i obrnuto. Ako nastavimo dalje istim putem niz zečju rupu i neživa materija je također produkt te iste svijesti, pa je samim time tek uvjetno rečeno neživa, tek ako je i svijest “neživa”, no da je uistinu neživa, ne bi stvarala ili sukreirala život.
Univerzum jest svijest. Proaktivna.
Još je kvantna mehanika dvadesetih godina dvadesetog stoljeća bila na istom tragu, svojom sviješću djelujemo na ponašanje čestica iz potencijalnog mora mogućnosti. Sukreiramo svijet već bivajući svjesni svijeta, jer svijet posljedično svjesnošću odgovara na našu svijest. Što je onda vanjski svijet ako ne ta ista svijest, ta ista koju zovemo našom/unutarnjom sviješću? Tako je onda unutra-izvana-dualnost  iluzija/mimikrija/varka? Čija varka? Varka te iste svijesti. Da bi se izrazila, iskusila bogatstvo oblika postojanja, mora se materijalizirati, da bi raznolikost materijalizacija bila uvjerljiva materijaliziranim oblicima postojanja, svijest mora stvoriti iluziju odvojenosti, zavarati samu sebe, odnosno materijalne aspekte same sebe. 
Da li je moguće da sam plod samooplođujuće svijesti? Da sam ta ista samooplođujuća svijest kao i svi ostali i sve ostalo, znači   stvorila sam samu sebe kao i sve ostalo?

Buka je svuda oko nas, kada ju stišamo, čujemo nešto unutarnjeg života — intuicije, snova, prekognicije, imaginacije.  
Vibracija je doživljaj bestežinskog uzdizanja — da li se svijest (ili duša) uistinu odvojila od tijela ili je to samo bilo trenutno stanje mog mozga, ne mogu znati sigurno, ali osjećaj je bio vrlo stvaran i snažan. Takva stvarnost, te stvarnost sinkroniciteta i prekognicijskih snova iz kojih učim o prirodi vremena s neke druge strane, da ono nije linearno, da vjerojatno niti ne postoji, pitajući se što je onda prostor, pitajući se što je uopće to što zovemo stvarnošću, pitajući se što je onda to što zovemo sobom.  Sa svakim novim pitanjem, prošireni doživljaj svijeta, kolekcija vlastitih memorabilija/razglednica van prostora i vremena, utječe u nešto mnogo veće i mnogo manje osobno — svjesno, univerzalno,  beskonačno, jedno. Jedno sa beskonačno mnogo izraza.

Da su Razine postojanja brojne znam jer zahvaćam neke gledajući u sebe — da li je taj san moja prava priroda?

Tatjana Bezjak

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