TATJANA BEZJAK: PARALLEL ONE (2010-2012)

Parallel One is the review of the most transformative thoughts, experiences and feelings, several years of living summed up in the personal three-dimensional memorabilia. An intimately important reminder of the universal truthfulness of the insight that a man is his own light — Buddha's last words addressed to his disciples from his deathbed, but also a reminder of the mutual permeation of all beings and of all that exists in the universe. As we inhale and exhale the same molecules of air for millennia — thus also we share the experiences of all those who were and of all those who will be in an endless recycling. A Couple, Room with the View, and Parallel One point to the number two, the number of a pair and duality. The principle of polarity is a principle of the universe, but only at one level — what appear to be opposites are actually two extremes of the same phenomena. A Couple — the woman and her shadow are a pair of opposites within the same being — she walks stepping on her own shadow — light and shadow are two poles of the same world. Of the two Moons in the Room with the View, the one in the sky and the one in the reflection, both are perhaps illusions, while reality conceals a third Moon. Or the fourth or fifth, or tenth, or thousandth; the observer externally observes the observer from the inside, and as we observe him, we are being observed by the observer who is observed by the observer, and so every following observer sees more and thus what is a view towards inside for the preceding observer, is a view from the outside for the succeeding one. The source is always further than the seen, for a step, two, three, ten, a thousand. Room with the View has the Moon and star constellations drawn on its roof. This Moon is the circular opening through which the view into the interior of the room is enabled. The small figure lies on the floor facing the ceiling. The light of stars, and the depth of the sky, are a state of mind — freedom is a state of mind even when a physical space is a prison without doors-exits, like in this Room with the View, and when the Moon is just an aperture in the ceiling through which light, and perhaps someone's gaze from the outside enters. The gaze from the outside, through the aperture/Moon, reveals the Moon inside. That Moon from the inside is the light, but it is also the eye that watches. From the inside, the Moon is the light as the ceiling aperture is doubled in the reflection of the prison floor that hides the mirror, transforming the prison, along with the stars — ceiling perforations, into a celestial temple. The Moon is the eye of that one and the same observer because the observer looks at their own eye in the mirror. Perhaps the observer will notice their own eye, and perhaps not, because all of their attention would be taken away by the figure or by the space of the room, yet the eye is here to see itself. In the physical lens of that same eye is also the reflection, as well as in the reflection of that reflection. A prison or a temple, an aperture or a Moon, a Moon or an eye, an eye or a reflection of an eye, inside or outside, an illusion or reality, a finality or an infinity — only the viewpoint makes a difference. A quote from my dream whose activity was unfolding indoors, without a visible exit: "It doesn't matter that there are no windows or doors, I'll float out through the ceiling." And then take-off, passing through the ceiling without resistance. And then elation, thanks to easily found liberation, despite such weak prospects. The thrill also lasts after waking up. The dream — one of those worth memorizing, the one that will always be on hand if needed, as a remedy against fear. Parallel One — a female figure of wirely drawn contours that I placed within the edges of a cuboid drawn with wire — is shaping another female figure only reduced in size. The version reduced in size, she will place within the same kind of cuboid in which she herself is placed. The figures exist in parallel — just as they are drawn, and as perhaps in a parallel reality, this scene multiplies infinitely. In their recursion of space and form, Matryoshkas may give birth to one another endlessly, never to step out of their contours significantly. Perhaps Parallel One has a transcendental role and spreads a message of breaking off the vicious circle of multiplying. If there is a point in which "my life" moves in some other possible direction, no longer in parallel, drawing on entirely new forms, maybe this is the exactly that point? Exciting is the thought of moving out of the drawings, the excitement is a potential plurality of the directions of movement, and even more exciting is the idea that we recreate ourselves in the way a sculpture is created, and that the same creative power is also valid for life. Or rather — it equals life. The space drawing is woven and sewn by wire lines — from thicker ones, to wires as thin as thread. Wire delineates the margins of the material cuboid space and simultaneously deletes them with the vortex of particles — by their moving through matter. Fullness and void are just perceptual determinants. Vortex is about that same creation that seeks self through new forms of thinking and experience, it is a vital energy that drives reality from an idea to its materialization. Vortex is awareness of outgrowing the contours of material givens of space and time, as the awareness of a reality of higher order. Awareness of the power of consciousness. Awareness of the universal potential of consciousness as an omnipresence, of its bonds and permeation with all of existing, as also the cause of all of the existence. Awareness as the existence itself. Perhaps this is one of the universal principles of life itself as we know it; for example, the evolutionary development of animal adaptation is also preceded by, not quite the awareness or thought inherent to humanity, but by an aspiration/need to improve themselves in survival, and over time will the ultimate consequence of that need be actualized as a new bodily form and function. Consciousness not only communicates with living beings and materializes their needs, it is their integral part, living beings themselves cause that same field of consciousness. If we continue further down the rabbit hole, non-living matter is also a product of that same consciousness, thus it is only conditionally speaking non-living. It is non-living only if the consciousness is not "alive", but if it is really not alive it would not create or recreate life. The universe is awareness. Proactive. Furthermore, quantum mechanics is on the same track, with our act of observation (consciousness) we are affecting the behavior of particles within a potential sea of possibilities. We co-create the world already by being aware of the world, inasmuch as the world consequently responds with consciousness to our consciousness. What then is the outside world if not that same consciousness, that same one we call our/inner consciousness? So then the interior-exterior-duality is an illusion/mimicry/deception? Whose deception? Deception of that same consciousness. In order to express itself, to experience the richness of the forms of existence, consciousness must be materialized. In order to make the diversity of materialization convincing to the materialized forms of existence, consciousness must create an illusion of separation, deceiving itself or rather the material aspects of its own self. Is it possible that I am the fruit of a self-fertilising consciousness? That I am that same self-fertilising consciousness as everyone else and everything else, means I created my own self as well as everything else? Unravels a tangle ball. At least it seems that way while holding it in hand. But the hand and the ball are intertwined. Where does one start and the other ends? That same Thread that we unravel is exactly the one with which we unravel, the same one that makes us and whose we are the very substance. To untangle and to unravel the tangle of the world means to unravel oneself. Noise is all around us, when we silence it, we hear somewhat of an inner life; of intuition, of dreams, of precognition, of imagination. Vibration is the experience of a weightless elevation — did the consciousness (or the soul) indeed separate from the body or was it just my momentary state of the brain, I cannot know for sure, but the experience was very vivid and striking. Such realities and a reality of synchronicity and of precognition dreams from which I learn about the nature of time on some other plane, I learn that it is not linear, and that it probably does not exist — wondering what space then is, wondering what it is all what we call reality, wondering what then is what we call ourselves. With each new question, the expanded experience of the world, the collection of my own memorabilia/postcards from out of space and time, flows into something much larger and much less personal — aware, universal, infinite, one. The One with infinitely many expressions. That Levels of existence are numerous I know — I touch some of them while gazing into myself. Is this dream my true nature?